thecapn: did you know that teachers are instructed to get in between two boys in an altercation and break their eye contact because boys will disengage once the immediate situation is interrupted but they’re instructed to like never ever get in between two girls in a fight because girls wont stop after they lose sight and will actively try to go through whatever’s in between them and teachers...
timecannotberewritten: dovahqueene: iwishlilbwasmygrandpa: There are thousands of half-babies in my ballsack and that’s terrifying at least you don’t bleed them out every month you make a compelling argument
ohanameansfandom: Whenever anyone argues against marriage equality because of their religious views as a Christian I just want to hit them over the head repeatedly with a Bible whilst yelling ADULTERY ISN’T ILLEGAL!! LYING ISN’T ILLEGAL!! DIVORCE ISN’T ILLEGAL!! DISRESPECTING YOUR PARENTS ISN’T ILLEGAL!! WORKING ON THE SABBATH ISN’T ILLEGAL!! WORSHIPPING OTHER GODS ISN’T ILLEGAL!! ...
WHEN I COME HOME WASTED
ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
my friend: i met a guy
me: i just started a new tv show
asphyxion: i went to a high school where they played jeopardy music when you had about 30 seconds to get to class and i shit you not best part of the day was seeing kids sprinting to class with this music playing